Things That Make Ya Go Hmm...

Last night I went to a gay bar with 2 of my close friends and some friends of theirs (who are becoming friends of mine).

I met several other people they knew from hanging out at this bar, and I discovered a truth that I was only partially aware of before.

Even gay men love boobs.

Now don't get me wrong- I'm not complaining or offended by any of this- I wouldn't put them out there if I didn't expect people to look...

But gay men are more aggressive about it than straight men, even. They feel free to openly stare, tell you how nice they are, or in some cases, even touch them... they think it's ok, because- Hey! They are gay!

Last night, I had three gay men I'd either never met, or only met briefly before, approach me about my breasts. Granted, they are quite glorious, and I can't say I'm disappointed that somebody noticed them. Three different conversations, that played out something like this:

GM#1: I am about to give you a compliment that will probably offend you-
Me: Oh, I know what you're going to say. *looks down at chest*
GM#1: Haha, you knew what I was going to say- well, your boobs are amazing- they're seriously beautiful. I mean, looking at them, I'm thinking you're like 22.
Me: Aw, I love you.

GM#2: I'm sorry if this offends you, but-
Me: *holding up one hand* I know. My boobs. They're great.
GM#2: They're so voluptuous! *sticks his finger down my cleavage*
Me: Oh my god- what-
GM#2: *leans over to whisper in my ear* If I were straight, I'd so f*** you.
GM#2 walks off at this point.
Me: The feeling is NOT mutual. What just happened here?

GM#3: Wow, you look totally different than when I interviewed you on Monday! You really did a great job- you were very talkative! I hate it when I interview people and they don't talk.
Me: Thanks, I have a degree in journalism. You want to give me a job? Haha, just kidding, I love my job.
GM#3: Okay, don't get mad when I say this but I had NO idea your boobs were this great!
Me: Yeah, I was wearing a crew neck t-shirt on Monday. They were covered up.
GM: Well you look great, they're really phenomenal!
Me: Hey, thanks.

I just... had no idea that even gay men were so enthralled with my chest. The first guy seriously kept talking to me about them all night, and the 3rd guy wagered a guess on the size, and he was pretty close. Then they started talking to each other about them. I was so confused. Never have I gotten so much attention and nobody tried to come home with me.

I think I've just discovered the perfect hangout.