You're Hot And You're Cold...

Alright, Mother Nature.

You and I, we've been in the ring before. You always win, 'cause you're stronger than me. But I've been working out!

First there was the time that you dumped a Level 3 Snow Emergency on us and kept me from being able to drive to Columbus to see Bon Jovi. I want you to know that I subsequently lost those tickets and we couldn't go to the show they re-scheduled!

I mean that was bad, but then Katrina? And what about Ike? Somehow you managed to shuffle his ass all the way up here. Inland hurricane? What?!

This is just on top of all kinds of other uncontrollable behavior... like the time it snowed in June when I was in elementary school?

I don't know if it's hormones or what, lady (hot flashes?)... but you need to reign it in. It has dropped 10 degrees in the last 12 or so hours?! I can't keep this apartment at a reasonable temperature!

Help a sister out, Mother Nature. Please!