Crackers for Christmas?

So today, my friend Annie sent me an E-vite for her little holiday party she is throwing for our group of girlfriends from the NOLA trip.

Attached to the E-vite is an advertisement featuring Rachael Ray and Nabisco crackers. The tagline on the ad is "Give the gift that never gets returned."

CRACKERS? You want me to give someone CRACKERS for christmas? Okay, or you want someone to give ME crackers for Christmas? Are you kidding? Crackers? As a gift. Do you give someone a gift receipt with that so that they COULD return the crackers if they wanted?

If someone gives me crackers for Christmas, you are right-- I won't return them. I will LAUGH wholeheartedly at the poor schmo who gave them to me. If you give someone crackers for Christmas, you should probably get punched.

The gift that never gets returned. Yah, I'll tell you why they never get returned. It's because NOBODY has big enough balls to walk into Kroger and go up to the customer service counter and say "Hi, I got these Nabisco snack crackers for Christmas, and I think I'd like to return them! See, I have this gift receipt!"

What is the target demographic for the gift of crackers? Certainly not people who are online getting E-vites... I'd say the best person to give crackers to at Christmas might be someone who would otherwise not eat.

Maybe they would be nice to bring to a party you are attending, if you yourself might eat some of the crackers. However, if you wrap the crackers up and present them to your host as a gift- They will probably look at you like you have three heads.

And then if they have the chutzpah to take them back to Kroger and return them?

They either are a really big asshole... or awesome. Maybe both. I haven't decided yet.