Upgrade or Clusterf*ck? You decide.

So I know- I do an AWFUL lot of complaining about work for loving my job as much as I do. Seriously, I do ACTUALLY love my job.


There are just some little bitty things about it that infuriate me. Okay, this is beyond infuriating, though.


So- we have this proprietary software that we use to keep track of the work we're doing. Basically, I use it to write reports summing up what I find when I go out to do my job.


Okay, that's really the most important part of my job, because in my job- if it wasn't documented, it wasn't done. So you can imagine how it's important for me to take great notes and complete my reports as close to when I visit as possible.


So this software, while amazing for what it is... probably wasn't the greatest software ever to hit the earth since DOS. (Think Doogie Howser's journal. Haven't we come a long way?) So last weekend, while I was traveling, they upgraded it to version 3.0. OOOOH- 3.0.


So first of all, I'd have been completing these reports while I was on the plane if I could have... but the system was down and any info entered between Friday 11:59pm (March 28) and Monday morning (March 31) was NOT going to be saved.


Okay, you know, no big deal. I got to finish my book on the plane.


But I come in on Monday morning and start trying to write reports. I think maybe I am just slow because I didn't take the course explaining the upgrades to me. So I do that. I took a half day on Monday b/c it was opening day, so I really didn't have more than a couple hours to fight with the thing, so I didn't know how bad it really was.


Tuesday had me feeling like a homicidal maniac. Ok, really I was about to go Office Space on my computer, possibly even throw it out the window from 8 floors up. But then I realized that if it hit someone, I'd be arrested. And I didn't have a baseball bat. So here we are. I've still got my computer, and I can just bitch about it to you guys.

It's really great when you figure that the REASON the d*mned thing didn't work was because of an upgraded spell-check feature. Yes, for years upon years upon years (or at least as long as I've worked here since Dec 2005) this software purported to have a spell-check feature that never once checked my spelling in any manner. BUT IN VERSION 3.0, ohhh in version 3.0, yes- the spell-check now works. WELL, SORT OF.

The spellchecker opens a window in word, and begins checking the spelling and grammar of what you have written- and if it finds anything... you're SCREWED. The beauty of this handy little gadget (and I'm laying on a thick layer of sarcasm, seriously, get out your chisel to pry this one off...) is that it opens the spell-check window BEHIND the window in which you are entering your report.

Well isn't that great? You can't MINIMIZE the window in which you are entering your report. This means, the spell-check window is demanding your attention, yet you literally cannot respond to it. So your report sits there and waits patiently to be corrected... alas, you cannot correct it. SO, what do you DO about this? You can even try to close it. But you can't do that either. You have to go into Windows Task Manager and end the program. Then Task Manager tells you "Windows cannot close this program because it is waiting for a response from you. If you end this program, you will lose unsaved data." So you hit "END NOW" anyway.
AND YOU LOSE HALF OF YOUR F*CKING REPORT AND HAVE TO START THE D*MNED THING OVER AGAIN! AAAAAUUUUGH!

Needless to say, I did this dance of anger for 10 hours before I finished even ONE of the FOUR reports I needed to write. I complained to the support team. They told me they were aware of the problem. I finished the report, I tried to resync my data, and something went wrong.

I couldn't resync. Then somehow I got locked out and it wouldn't change my password. Then the spell-check error was fixed... and I COULDN'T EVEN GET INTO THE SYSTEM! WHAT?!

It took me an ENTIRE WEEK plus two days to finish 4 reports. Normally, one report takes me 3 hours. hahahahahhahahahhahaha, ahahahahahhahaahhahaahahahah, hahahahhahahaha. Do I sound crazy? I feel crazy!

Just to demonstrate- I copied this post over into Word and ran spell-check on it up to this sentence. IT WENT OFF 24 TIMES. I WOULD HAVE LOST THIS POST 24 times.

And my mind... I would have lost my mind.